Sense and Sensibility: Redefining Marriage

What is repugnant to you?  Killing animals?  Whipping children or animals?  Torture?  For me, reading or seeing anything having to do with defection makes me sick.  As a result, I do not include that act or anything relating to it (synonyms, descriptions, etc.) in even my fictional writing. 

And yet, people complain when a business will not serve a potential client or customer who wants the business to create something (pastries, party favors, invitations, photographs and videography,  a musical mix, etc.) for an activity which the business owner knows will lead to something that violates their beliefs.  The opening of a sex shop, a gambling facility, or something similar might violate the tenents held by a business owner—such an enterprise would damage their own soul should they use their creative energies to further it.

When does a person’s conscience and soul take precedence over the rights of others?  No one’s art is truly unique.  I can find any number of bakeries, printers, photographers and videographers who are not bound by conscience. 

When I was practicing photography, I was asked to photograph my ex-fiancé's wedding.  Stupidly, I agreed.  I have no idea what quality of photographs resulted because I pulled the film out of the camera, flung it at him after the wedding, and told him I was done.  I know he would have gotten better results if he had hired someone else.

When someone walks into a store and asks for invitations, pastries, photographic services and the like, they must know that if their project would violate the conscience and sensibilities of the business owner then the outcome would be less than favorable.  You may not force someone to violate their conscience for something that is any less than life threating. 

And yet, homosexual couples are trying to legally force small business owners to provide creative services for celebrations which those owners cannot in good conscience provide good service.  Are they doing this thoughtlessly, selfishly, or to prove a point.  I really think it is the latter. 

Let’s talk about the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution.  Some people falsely believe that it requires everyone to be treated equally—that everyone is equal.  However, our founders were not blind.  They could see that individuals were not equal in life.  Some were strong, some weak, some poor, some rich, some sickly, some healthy.  What the Equal Protection Clause says is that the laws of the land must be equally enforced.  You don’ t have one law for the rich (e.g. they can pay their way out of mandatory military service) and one for the poor (they must serve and be killed).  You don’t have one law for people of European descent (they can live as free people) and another law for people of African descent (they can be treated like property).  Equal protection under the law does not mean that everyone gets served.  Remember “No shoes, no shirt, no service?” 

Now, lets address one of my pet peeves—redefinitions.  I have already used one word in this essay that has been redefined as a misspelling of tenant—a renter.  I’m sure you can find that word.  There’s a song from the musical, Oklahoma, with the line “I am as bright and as gay as a daisy in May.”  The redefinition is obvious to anyone who has enjoyed that musical.  And then there’s the redefinition of “baby.”  Or maybe I should call it the shifting definition.  When is a baby a baby?  Only when it’s born.  What expectant mother does not exclaim, “I am having a baby!”  It’s a baby to her when she knows she’s pregnant.  “We’re having a baby,” she says.  It’s a fetus to those who don’t want it to be a baby.  And now marriage is taking on a definition change, not a shift.  Marriage has always been the state of a relationship between a man and a woman that separated it from all other relationships.  Everyone everywhere at all times recognized that definition.  Now some want the definition to change so that marriage can be between any two persons of legal age.  But once it’s changed, it no longer holds its original meaning.  It means nothing.  Just like “gay” once meant frivolously happy.  That meaning is completely gone.  “Gay” now means homosexual.  The meaning has completely changed. 

I don’t think it’s a good thing to mess with meaning.  And certainly not if the word has existed with a strong meaning for hundreds of years (marry was first coined in the 1300’s but synonyms have been used almost since the beginning of time).  Don’t let people change the meaning.  Marriage is not a word invented or a law promulgated by the government.  Yes, the government can protect the people getting married by keeping close relatives from marrying, and requiring tests for diseases that would adversely affect the couple if they married.  But government may not redefine words to mean something that they never meant.  Not now, not ever. 

The word tenent disappeared, it has been changed to tenet—a strongly held belief or principal.  Gay can disappear.  I liked it, but it was not a terribly important word.  Marriage must not be made to disappear.  It is a very important word with an inherent meaning that may not be displaced or redefined. 

A pizza restaurant in Indiana is losing business because they said they would not cater a homosexual “wedding.”  They would serve anyone who comes into their restaurant.  But they drew the line at catering an event that strove to redefine marriage. 

Can marriage be redefined?  Yes, we have redefined other things.  But the question remains, just because we can, should we? 

We must never redefine words that function to sustain societies.  And that’s what marriage does. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Dream

It was a worm, slimy and gray, unmoving. Curling around nothing, slithering across the smooth surface.  Suddenly from above dropped a small, segmented, smooth caterpillar with black spots symmetrically situated along its length.
The worm surrounded that caterpillar and sucked it in, glowing red along its length shining into the void around it.
“Get it off me!  Get it off!” 
I looked up to see that red worm laying on his bald head. 
The next moment that worm was in the sink basin, in a small amount of water contained in the sink stopper.  I watched it wiggle and squirm, not at all dismayed and certainly not destroyed by finding itself in water.  It did not die, but it must die.  It must be destroyed.
I grabbed a piece of bread, dumped the contents of the stopper into it, folded it and ate it.
This dream, what does it mean?


Note: I have not been thinking about worms or slugs or anything slimy.  My night time reading has to do with Japanese/Chinese relations prior to the 2nd World War on the Island of Penang in Malaysia.



Sink Stopper photo by Stilfehler (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Bread slices By Daniel Sone (Photographer) [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

When Is 20% Not Enough or Shower Shelf Alternatives?

 

 

I’m not talking about the emails for enlarging part of your body or solving a problem you didn’t know you had.  No, these are legitimate offers from brick and mortar stores.  For years I had been using one of these offers to solve a problem:  no shelves in the shower.  Yes, it’s a big problem, no place to put the soap or shampoo or conditioner bottle which we always purchase in the largest size.  So they end up on the floor.

We started with the 20% off coupon from the store and bought something that need to be assembled and stretched from the ceiling to the floor of the shower.  It was steel coated with something to resemble oil rubbed bronze.  It lasted for a few years and then began to crumble, leaving bits of rusted metal at our feet. 

When it finally collapsed, I again used the 20% off coupon and purchased one that wouldn’t rust—aluminum.  The problem was that even though it didn’t rust, it wasn’t sturdy enough.  When the last shelf broke off, I took my 20% off coupon in hand preparing to do it again at the brick and mortar store.

However, life got in the way, my trip was put off, and we stumbled over the bottles on the shower floor as I wondered whether it was even worth buying another shower pole.  Time passed.  Soap disappeared more quickly from laying in water on the shower floor.  I needed to buy more soap and by now I was sure that any pole would work. 

I picked up soap at a local store and then went to their limited aisle of bath and shower accessories.  There is saw it!  A suction cup shelf sporting four suction cups and certainly large enough for shampoo, conditioner, and soap.  At under $10, it was certainly worth a try.  No more $50 shower poles at 20% off! 

And yet, the brick and mortar store keeps sending me 20% off coupons.  Sometimes waiting awhile for inspiration to strike is worth more than 20%.  My impulse to make a 20% off purchase, would have cost more, taken up more space, and eventually rusted or fallen apart. The simpler solution took more time, more thought, but result in a better outcome.

What might you save if you took a little more time?  If you hit Delete?  If you considered alternatives, searched for alternatives?  Might you hit upon a better solution, one you’d never before conceived?  I did. 

 

Photo:  By dbfrom1kb1 (Amy) (Flickr) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Best Whole Wheat Bread

 

This is a little (just a little?) off topic.  I have spent time modifying my favorite bread recipe so that it is entirely whole grain.  It makes 2 regular sized loaves.  Here’s how you make it.

 

Start with:

• 4 cups of Whole Wheat Flour
• 2 packages or (1 T + 1.5 t yeast)
• 3 T vital wheat gluten

Mix these together until well-blended.

Run your tap water and measure until it is 120 degrees (if it is not that hot, microwave the water until it is.

In large measuring cup or bowl, mix together:

• 3.25 c. hot water
• 1/2 c. honey (wild honey tastes the best)
• 1 T vegetable oil

Add the wet ingredients to the dry and mix until just blended.  I use a Kitchen Aid mixer with dough hook, but you can mix by hand.  Put one more cup of flour on top to keep it warm, but do not mix in.  Let the mixture sit at room temperature for 10 minutes or more.   After the 10 minutes have elapsed, mix in the dry flour and gradually add 2-3 more cups of flour.  You want the dough moist and not forming into a ball. 

When it is moist but stiff enough to form, form it into a ball and then knead it a few times.  Form it into a ball again.  Spray a large bowl with cooking oil and roll the ball in the oil.  Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and put in a warm place to raise.  You do not want the volume to double.  If you are using the quick yeast it will take about 1/2 hour to 45 minutes at the proofing temperature of my Bosch oven.  It will take longer at cooler temperatures.

When it has risen, it will be almost twice as big as it was before and be filled with air.  Punch it down, divide it in half.  Take each half and form it into a cylinder and put in pre-oiled 9 x 5 loaf pan.  (If your pans are smaller you will use a smaller amount, but the dough should come up about 3/4 of the way on the pan.)  In the pan, punch it down again until it is filling all parts of the pan.

Put the pans in a warm place, cover with oiled plastic, and let rise until the bread is about 1 inch above the top of the pan.  Then raise the oven temperature to 375.  Brush or spray the top of the bread with water to make a nice crust,  and bake for 45 minutes or until the internal temperature is 120 degrees. (I recommend an instant read thermometer like the Thermo Pop or Thermo Pen). 

Remove from oven and let cool in pans 10 minutes.  Remove from pan and cool on a rack.

Spread with butter and enjoy!

Goals, Goals, Goals and A Snippet

 

This year I finally found the impetus to begin writing again due to a beautifully written memoir of an author’s year in Rome  (Four Seasons in Rome by Anthony Doerr).  Unlike that memoir, my historical fiction psychological thriller series (Eli’s Scrolls) takes place in the ancient Near East, in today's nations of Jordan, Israel, and Syria.  So, here's a snippet, in fact two paragraphs, to celebrate the 2nd month of the year, plus 5 sentences for the 5th day of the month.  The beginning of the first chapter of Eli's Scrolls: Book 1:  The Search. 

The night was darker than the coals of a long dead fire.  He had never seen a night like this one.  In the past, there had been times when the moon and stars had been cloud-blotted, but there were always sounds:  cricket chirps, a fire’s crackle, sheep’s baa’s.  In the deepest quiet of the night the wind would whisper and tickle his ears.  But this night was different.  There were no sounds, no stirrings, nothing at all.  Without any memory of arriving there, he thought he must be deep in some ancient cave.  He knelt and groped for the feel of anything, pebbles, dirt, a puddle, a twig, but wherever he reached he grasped only air. He shivered, hugged himself, and tried not to panic.  He struggled to breathe normally as he pushed against the ground, a surface like smooth rock, flat and slick like nothing he had ever felt. He stood, tremulous, and slid his feet forward ten paces without feeling a single ridge or undulation.  He reached for anything, hands grasping, reaching to the front, now to the side—but felt nothing.   Another ten, paces and he reached again.  How long could he go on like this: finding nothing, feeling nothing?

He strained to feel, to see, to hear, even the whiff of a breeze, the spark of a star, the gentle sounds of sleeping sheep.  He had no sense of direction or purpose, but on and on he strode, grasping, reaching from one side to the other, hoping only for the brush of a feather, a point of light, a sound in this night beyond all nights.  On and on he went.  But for Eli there was no illumination, no rumble of thunder, no stars above.  Into the silence he cried out the ancient words, “Baruch atah Adonai Elohenu Melech H’Olam.  Hineni. hineni”  Over and over he entreated the One whom he longed to know.  “Blessed are You Our Lord, King of the World.  I am here.  I am here.”  His feet faltered as he dragged himself onward.  He listened to his own breath whistling and wheezing, and he  flung it toward the heavens until his voice became hoarse.  He sank to his knees, his face bowed.  “Baruch atah Adonai Elohenu.  Hineni, hineni” he whimpered, flattening himself, and retreating into his own darkness until he was no longer conscious of the surface beneath him.  The darkness concealed him.  In it, he ceased to exist.

Suddenly, he felt his shoulder shaking under a weight and in that instant thoughts of Yahweh flittered through him and as quickly disappeared.  He grabbed the weight, finding it warm and soft,—an arm,  rolled onto his back, and dragging the weight with him clutched it close to his chest in the split second before a large body plummeted onto his torso and threatened to suffocate him.

“Watch it, Eli!” Ben yelled.

Ben. Eli struggled and pushed away hearing his reed mat crackle beneath him, and rolled onto the ground.

 

WIPpet Friday is a weekly blog hop where authors post snippets from their current Works in Progress. The Christian Fiction Edition is hosted by Alana Terry and Hallie Bridgeman.

Darkness and Light

 

I was recently enlightened to write again by a memoir I read.  Something about darkness in a scene the author described lit a spark.  I realized that light and darkness (especially in our dark days of winter) are significant to everything we do and everything I write.  If nothing is hidden, there is nothing to be discovered; If everything is disclosed mystery vanishes.

I have an almost excessively bright reading light I inherited from my mother.  I think she purchased it because the stand looked cool.  She had a real eye for design.  She never used it for reading or any other task lighting so the original bulb is still in it.  And that bulb is a little scary.  CAUTION! it warns.  .  . RISK OF EXPOSURE TO ULTRAVIOLET RADIATION.  I dread having to replace that bulb or leaving it alone with children.  Nevertheless, it shows me every jot and every tittle on every page, the fingerprints on my Kindle, and the dust and cat hair everywhere.

But, what if we lived in a land of darkness where Jesus provided the light.  And what if that light was both risky and revealing.  And what if that light was both partial and full.  What if it was a light full of paradox and promise?

The memoir I read earlier this year prompted me to remember what happens when the light comes on.  All of a sudden our attention is redirected from the indistinct shapes of gloom to a point of clarity. 

And now that we’ve seen the light and know where to look, what about the darkness?  Why only a point of light?  Why not a light that casts it beam everywhere on everything.  Why not display the evil in the world so that it can be destroyed.  Why not burn through the walls of drug houses, sex houses, murder houses, theft houses so everyone can see the evil?  Why not expose everything?

Exposing evil generally leads to a better outcome.  That’s what the Fourth Estate--the news organizations—are supposed to do in our day.   The missing women in Chillicothe, OH have been highlighted, but we don’t know what happened before they disappeared or died.  Why do we see in part but not in whole?

What would it take to wipe out the evil around us? God promises to do that in the end, but what about today?  What about slavery and the evil people who enslave others on drugs?

And now a digression.  I recently read an article (really a commentary on a book) in Psychology Today that posits that fewer children are diagnosed with and taking drugs for ADHD in France than in the USA.  The theory is that French people raise their children in families with a frame and structure that makes the kids feel secure.  They know that have 4 definite meal times and they are not allowed food in between.  They know that the have set hours and duties.   Christians have that also:  we have the frame and structure of God’s way of living.  Other frames and structures are sweet but inadequate.

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;

I dare not trust the sweetest frame,

But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

--The Solid Rock 

So, we need the light, but the darkness is comfort and protection, mystery and paradox.  My prayer for the year is that all would turn toward the light that is Jesus and that evil deeds done in darkness would be exposed, everything lost would be found, and that all might be able to live freely in Jesus’ frame.

 

Star picture "Merope" by Henryk Kowalewski - http://www.ccd.neostrada.pl/HTM/Merope.htm. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.5 via Wikimedia Commons - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Merope.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Merope.jpg

Just Say No To Sex

Yesterday I listened to a news report on WOSU radio.  Ohio universities are taking measures to stop campus rape.  All good, right?  "Consent is Sexy."  That's the slogan.  

I thought back to the stresses of my own college days.  The coursework was difficult--nothing like high school.  I had to navigate new methods of study.  I had to find my place in the campus social scene.  I had to discover where I belonged in that society and where my future was heading.  Tough stuff for an 18 year old.  And I--armed with close friends, good study habits, a knowledge that sex outside marriage was wrong, and a natural curiosity--did not always steer my course well.  

You'd think that my alma mater OSU (or is it THE OSU?) would try to make things easier, wouldn't you?  But this is how the coordinator of Ohio State's Sexual Violence Education program described the campaign.  

“Students really need to recognize and understand the different facets of consent, the different layers of consent, and how to properly look for consensual or nonconsensual situations they may see around them."

Sounds like a course description, doesn't it?   They have taken something so incredibly simple to express (Say no until you are married) and believing that if, and only if, students can  "recognize and understand the different facets of consent, the different layers of consent," then students will act with maturity and wisdom and stop cavorting like cats in heat.

Is OSU still an educational institution?  Traditionally such institutions, especially those with residence halls have stood in loco parentis, in the place of the parents. How difficult would it be for OSU and other universities to say, "We stand in the place of good parents and as good parents we are telling you, "No sex.""  

But, that won't happen.  Why?  Not practicing sex before marriage is healthier, mentally, emotionally, and physically.  The students won't contract sexually transmitted diseases, saving heath care costs and future agony.  They will suffer after break-ups, but not to the extent as if they had sex.  Sex binds people in a dangerous manner unless a long term commitment (marriage) is involved.  And breaking up after a sexual encounter makes other romantic relationships more difficult.  Do these universities try to prevent these problems No. They are telling our young adults, get involved in pre-marital sex, practice same sex interaction, but by all means, make sure that that you recognize the layers and facets of consent.  

WOSU had their soap box; This is mine.  Let me know what you think.


Photo by Michael Barera (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons